The Adventures Of The Cullens
by Alice4eva
Summary: First story! What happens when Emmett And Edward Go The The Grocery Store! I Might Add More Chpters Later! Enjoy If You Are Planning On Reading It! Plz Review If You Did Read!
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first story. Its just a short one shot. I might add more chapters about the other adventures of the Twilight characters._

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**EMPOV**

One day Edward and I were grocery shopping…. Well I was and dragged him with me. He wasn't very happy, but as I an stronger than him he gave in. The grocery store was very interesting it had a lot of food.

_Dirt _I thought.

But, then from the corner of my eye I spotted some cookies!

"YAY! EDDYKINZ LOOK COOKIES!" I screamed. Every one in the shop started to stare me.

_What is wrong with those people? Cant some one get excited about cookies?_

Then Edward came over and dragged me to the corner of the shop, taking away those marvellous cookies from my sight, saying "Yay?"

Then he added more " EMMATT! U DUMBO!" _OOOO some one is angry! _I laughed in my mind. " WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOUING! COOKIES?! YOU CANT EVEN EAT THOSE, AND YOU ARE MAKING ME GET A BAD REPUTATION IN THIS SHOP!!!"

Eddy? Grocery shop reputation..?

"Hey, you shop here Eddykinz?" I questioned him.

"Ermm.. I used too for Bella" _He's smarter than I thought._

I run over to my cookies and took some plus some mayonnaise. I paid and went home.

_I'm sure I forgot something…_

Then next to my precious Jeep I could see a furious Edward running. OK I still think I have forgotten something!

When I stopped in front of my house Edward was already there, he looked at me angrily.

_What's his problem?_

"ILL TELL YOU WHAT MY PROBLEM TOU FORGOT ABOOUT ME AND LEFT ME IN THE SHOP!"

_Ahhh, so that's what I forgot! _

I went inside the house all sad and then I heard some none scream "EDWARD" _Bella_, Edward smiled and went to hug her "I've been tortured by your little clothes obsessed, pixie sister!" _So have I, but not by Alice._

Edward gave me a death glare.

Alice was sitting on the sofa with her arms crossed, offended.

I went up to Edwards room and found his pink bear caller Mr. Fluffy. I put mayonnaise all over him and some feathers that I got out off his pillow. _Not so Fluffy now. Ehh Mr. Fluffy? _

I heard Edward come up the stairs, so I quickly run to my room and did my evil laugh!

"MOOOOHAHAHAHIHI"

I heard a really loud "NOOOOOOOOOOO" and then sobbing and then comforting "Don't worry we can wash him." "But he will never be the same" and more sobbing" The whole thing was hilarious, but now he will want revenge! NOOOOO, just not my beautiful, cookies! Better Hide them under my pillow!

**10 YEARS LATER**

I walked into my room so I could check on my marvellous, green cookies. When I looked under my pillow they had creepy eyes on them and they were saying "We will eat you" over and over again!

I screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO" then Rosie came in and started comforting me saying that I could get more.. Blah blah blah, not that I listened. " THEY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME" I was sobbing.

_DAMN YOU EDWARD!_

**EPOV**

HEHE! That's what you get when you mess with me and Mr. Fluffy!

"MOOHAHAHAHIHI"

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_Review, I want to know if you liked it or not! You can be mean by the way. Im kinda rubbish at writing so yeah. I don't care if you didn't like it._

_**Alice4eva_

_xx_


	2. Chapter 2

_BOO! He he I bet I made you jump! YAY I GOT TWO REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER! I guess that is quite good for my poor English skills! Ha ha! _

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**RPOV**

_Hmm should I dye my hair more blonde? I'll ask Emmett!_

"EMMETT" I screamed for him. He came right away.

"Yea?" he said

"Should I dye my hair more blonde?"

"Yea?" _Dumbo.. _

"FINE I WILL!"

**EPOV**

Moohahahahihi! I was passing Rosalie's door when she was asking Emmett if she should dye her hair more blonde. You see I am happy bout that one, because about 10 years ago (yes that was when Emmett destroyed my delicious Mr. Fluffy!) I put bright green dye in the blond dye packet! He he!

That's when I had to run as Emmett was going out of the room, scratching his head!

Then he thought,

_What did she say?_

**RPOV**

I went to the bath room and got the hair dye ready. It was a 15 minute one. I put it on my hair and went to read a magazine for the next fifteen minutes. Then I washed it and dried it, but when I went to the mirror to brush it I screamed!

MY HAIR WAS BRIGHT GREEN!!!!

I knew who did it straight away.

"EDWARD!" I run down the stairs, and as soon as he spotted me he run outside, I followed him, found a flame thrower and started chasing him around the house with it.

Emmett and Jasper where on the porch in hysterics, and Bella looked terrified, like I cared, in the end it was her husband that made my hair green.

Then I banged in to a gigantic branch which I haven't seen as I was staring at those idiots on the porch.

**ANOTHER 10 YEARS LATER..**

**EPOV**

I went to the bathroom to have a look around… and then I spotted a mirror I went over to it to have a look at my beautiful face, then when I saw it it was red!! AHH NO NOT LIPSTICK!!!

_Damn you Rosalie Hale Cullen!_

But I didn't have time to get her and chase her around the house with a flame thrower, as 10 seconds later I have fainted.

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And yet another chapter of my ridiculous story. J:D:3 Plz Review

Luv

*Alice4eva*


	3. Chapter 4

_There you go!_

_I like making it cheesy!_J

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**JPOV**

"Jazzy go and buy me some mayonnaise, please!" Why would Emmett want that?

I went to the kitchen and I think Emmett was cooking. The whole kitchen had food all over it. It smelt bad. "Why Emmett?" I asked him.

"I'm making a cake for Bella!" he grinned.

"Ok…. Ill get the mayo." I said not sure. When I was going out of the door I said "You better clean up before Esme comes back.

I stole his car keys and drove to the grocery store in his huge jeep.

"LALALA" I sung as I drove there. When I got out of the jeep I went to find 'The Mayo'. I couldn't find any then I saw an old grandma carrying some!

I went over to her and I tried to get it out of her hand but she wouldn't let go!! How come she it stronger than I?

Unless… she was Emmett's grandma! Ha she soo was! I smiled and said to her " Hello Emmett's granny! Do you know where the mayo is? Or could I take yours?"

She answered " Of course you can carry my mayo bags dear" I was confused and walked of.

And then in the corner of my eye I saw it! The mayo shelf! I went t get it.. But what one should I get? There was about three different kinds of it and they were all in different sized jars as well. I asked the closest person there was "What mayo should I get?"

She looked at me weird and pointed to a hellmans, middle sized jar. I thanked her and run to pay. I could feel what the man was feeling. He felt love? I looked around there was no one there accept for me! I started to get creeped out. _Was he gay? Yes._

Then I noticed him staring at me. He said " Hey! You know this is really 1.50, but for you I'm gona do just 1.00!" He fluttered his eyelashes.

OMG! Did he just flirt with me?! I didn't say anything to him, I just gave him a tenner took the mayo and run out in to the jeep and drove home.

I run in to the kitchen ,which looked much worse now, to face a very happy Emmett. He took the mayo from me and smeared it all over the "cake".

"What's up Jazzy? You look scared."

I told him all about my adventure. After I finished Emmett said amazed "You saw my granny!"

We were both cleaning the kitchen which even had duck tape everywhere! I offered to help, as Esme was going to be here in about five minutes. Her, Rosalie and Edward were hunting, Alice and Bella were shopping and Carlisle was at work.

Just when I was going to ask Emmett about why he was using duck tape in making cake, everyone came back accept for Carlisle. Esme gave us suspicious looks and I pointed to Emmett. He threw me a death glare.

Esme and Rosalie went upstairs with Alice so they could see what clothes she got. Edward went to do something so there was just me, Bella and Emmett. I sat on the sofa next to Bella and as I was about to ask her if she had fun, when Emmett entered with his disgusting looking cake, no offence to him, singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

He handed it to Bella and she thanked him. She stared at it for a moment. She actually felt happiness for a moment. That was until she found out what was in it. " Emmett what's in it?"

"Loads of things: -eggs

-mayo

-duck tape

And more"

Bella then felt disgusted! Ha-ha!

I chuckled and Emmett stared at me..

DUN DUN DUN! "HELP" I m soo dead!

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_Hello! Review Please! You know I kind of make these up on the spot! Haha! Anyways tell me if you liked it!__J:D_

_**Alice4eva_

_xx_


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